How To Divorce: How Can I Get Full Custody Of The Kids?
Posted: 05/ 1/2012 2:14 pm
Wondering how you can get full custody of your kids? Here’s what you need to know, from Judge Michele F. Lowrance, the author of “The Good Karma Divorce.”
I have been a judge in family court for seventeen years and, with few exceptions, I have found that those who insist on sole custody of their children often don’t really know what it entails. In fairness, neither do those who insist on joint custody. Divorce is hard enough, but deciding what type of custody to choose is not only difficult but also fraught with confusion.
Unfortunately, because of this confusion, there is a lot of unnecessary expense and heartache. It’s true that sole custody has attributes that joint custody does not that favor the custodial parent; for example, it may be easier to get a court to allow you to move out of the jurisdiction, and the sole custodian has the right to make all the major decisions about education, medical care and religion without consulting the other parent. Additionally, the non-custodial parent usually does not get access to school, activities, or medical records.
When a parent seeks sole custody, they will usually tell you that they are doing it to protect their children from undue influence from a defective other parent. Courts often decide when there are really combative parents, drug or alcohol dependent parents or those with mental disorders that sole custody is preferable.
When considering which to choose remember there are hybrids of both joint and sole custody. The controlling factors depend upon the rights spelled out in the parenting order. I have seen many sole custody orders where the non-custodial parent has more parenting time than in some joint custodial orders. Parenting orders (joint or sole custody) agreed upon by the parties can be made as unique as a fingerprint and meet both parties’ requirements.
Typically, the sole custodian has much more time with the children, but the tide is turning against that sentiment as research continues to weigh heavily in favor of joint custody or more parenting time for the non-custodial parent. Although in most jurisdictions joint custody can only be had by agreement of the parties, more and more jurisdictions are allowing judges to award joint custody even when it is in dispute.
It is never an easy decision to make because, with sole custody, while you might have the rights I just mentioned, the trade off is the benefits of maximum contact with both parents. Too often anger at the other spouse influences this decision. But it is never a matter of what the other parent deserves when you put the focus on the children.
If you are wondering about Child Custody in Denver Colorado and need divorce legal advice, contact Gary Nicholas, who provides divorce, mediation, legal separation, child custody, child relocation, child support, alimony, property division, and common law marriage legal services in the Denver, CO metro area.
Nicholas Family Law
303-322-0308 (tel)
303-740-8408 (fax)
Email Nicholas Family Law (email)
www.nicholasfamilylaw.com (web)
When Does Cohabitation Become A Common Law Marriage?
Posted: 1/5/12 12:20 PM ET
by Edra J Pollin
When live-in lovers decide to call it quits, the parties’ relationship is not always severed by a simple division of their furniture. If romantic partners have been cohabitating for a lengthy period of time and have commingled their assets and debts, their break-up in any jurisdiction may quickly give rise to disputes about the division of home equity, bank accounts and/or the payment of credit cards and other debts. However, when cohabitating parties end their relationship in a state which recognizes common law marriage, broken hearts are sometimes followed by a legal dispute which goes to the very heart of the matter. In divorce court, the parties’ case begins with their conflicting responses to the critical question, “Are you married?”
Common law marriage is fully recognized in nine states and the District of Columbia. In seven additional states, common law marriage is only recognized for limited purposes or if the marriage arose prior to a certain date. Although the specific requirements of common law marriage vary between differing jurisdictions, a common law marriage is generally established when the parties: a) live together for an extended period of time; b) hold themselves out in a public manner as a married couple; and c) demonstrate an intention to be married. Accordingly, when one party asserts the existence of a common law marriage, he or she has the burden of proving an affirmative response to most of the following questions: 1) Did the parties’ file joint income tax returns? 2) Did the parties openly hold themselves out to be husband and wife in their interactions with neighbors and friends? 3) Did the parties maintain joint banking and/or credit card accounts or purchase property in joint names? 4) Did the woman begin using the man’s last name? (These days, this question is probably of lesser importance). 5) Did either party name the other as their spouse on their health insurance, life insurance policy or pension?
The concept of common law marriage is somewhat analogous to the old adage that, “If it walks and talks like a duck…” If you continue to act like you’re married in your dealings with friends, neighbors and the IRS, don’t act surprised if a judge finds that you actually are.
Looking for a Common Law Marriage Attorney in Denver Colorado? Contact Nicholas Family Law at 303-322-0038 for a consultation.
The significance of common law marriage can hardly be overstated. For much the same reason that same-sex couples have fought for the right to marry, individuals who assert a common law marriage recognize that spouses enjoy considerably greater benefits than parties who have simply cohabitated with one another. Most often, common law marriage is asserted in a divorce case wherein one party is seeking alimony and a division of property which they could not otherwise obtain without the claim of a legal marriage. On occasion, common law marriage is asserted by an ex-husband who is seeking an end to his alimony payments on the basis that his ex-wife’s cohabitation is actually a common law remarriage to another man. In the criminal courts, common law marriage may be asserted by a defendant who seeks to quash their partner’s testimony by invoking a claim of spousal privilege. In civil or probate court, the claim of common law marriage is typically made by a party who is seeking either damages in a wrongful death suit or designation as an heir at law when the cohabitating partner, and alleged spouse, is now deceased.
At a time when cohabitation in the United States has become more prevalent than ever, romantic roommates who are trying to mix and match their sofas and coffee tables should take a moment to learn their state’s law regarding common law marriage. If you’re cohabitating in a common law marriage state and you have no present intent to be married, be mindful of your state’s legal requirements for this concept so you can conduct your personal and business affairs accordingly. Be aware that common law marriage is not easily proved but even if you “win” in divorce court with a judicial determination that no marriage was created, you already lost by engaging in a course of conduct which allowed two attorneys to litigate this issue in the first place.
As a matter of law, once a common law marriage has been established, there is no difference whatsoever between a common law marriage and a ceremonial one. This principle makes sense to family law attorneys, but how many brides would trade with the common law wife who missed out on the bridal shower, the dress and the diamond engagement ring?
If you are contemplating an annulment in Denver Colorado and need divorce legal advice, contact Gary Nicholas, who provides divorce, mediation, legal separation, child custody, child relocation, child support, alimony, property division, and common law marriage legal services in the Denver, CO metro area.
Nicholas Family Law
303-322-0308 (tel)
303-740-8408 (fax)
Email Nicholas Family Law (email)
www.nicholasfamilylaw.com (web)
Don’t Skimp on Your Divorce Lawyer: A Lesson From the Accidental Bigamist Wife
By BRUCE WATSON
Posted 5:15PM 01/03/12 Family Money
Of all the regrets commonly expressed by the recently divorced, “I’m sorry I didn’t pay my lawyer more money” is probably last on the list. But for one New York woman, the decision to go cheap on the legal fees led to a nasty surprise as she found herself accidentally married to two men at the same time.
As The New York Post reported on Sunday, Jennifer LaCarriere had no intention of becoming a bigamist. In September 2011, as she walked down the aisle in an English church with her soon-to-be second husband, she thought that she was free and unencumbered, a single woman embarking on a new life with a new man. Instead, as she later learned, her first marriage had never been legally dissolved.
In August 2010, LaCarriere and her first husband went to Express Bankruptcy and Divorce, where they met with Leomarys Alvarez, a Bronx-based woman who claimed to be a lawyer and notary public. For $535, Alvarez agreed to file all of the couple’s paperwork. Compared to lawyers who charged thousands of dollars to handle a divorce, it seemed like a bargain.
As it turned out, however, Alvarez was neither a notary nor a lawyer, and when LaCarriere returned from her trip to England, she received a nasty surprise. When she contacted New York City officials to complain about not receiving her divorce paperwork, she discovered that it had never gone through. She was now married to two men.
It’s not hard to see why LaCarriere and her first husband patronized Alvarez: They were seeking their divorce shortly after New York Gov. David Paterson signed a law allowing no-fault divorces in the state for the first time. Prior to that, couples seeking to dissolve their marriages needed to cite a specific reason, such as cruel and inhuman treatment, adultery, or abandonment.
Beyond that, there was also the question of price: While the court costs for LaCarriere’s uncontested divorce were only $335, the recent introduction of no-fault divorce made self-filing an unlikely choice for the couple. Faced with spending thousands of dollars to hire a lawyer or mediator, the pair went with what seemed like a reasonably priced option.
According to the Post, Alvarez’s plea deal with the Manhattan district attorney’s office is expected to result in a $2,500 fine, 400 hours of community service, and five years probation. Her office did not reply to repeated phone calls.
See full article from DailyFinance: http://srph.it/zGKKHp
If you are contemplating a divorce in Denver, or have already divorced in Denver, and need divorce legal advice, contact Gary Nicholas, who provides divorce, mediation, legal separation, child custody, child relocation, child support, alimony, property division, and common law marriage legal services in the Denver, CO metro area.
Nicholas Family Law
303-322-0308 (tel)
303-740-8408 (fax)
Email Nicholas Family Law (email)
www.nicholasfamilylaw.com (web)
Out of the Woodwork
Elisabeth Joy LaMotte, LICSW
Posted: 06/ 2/11 10:23 AM ET
For most, deciding to separate is no easy feat, especially if children are involved. The process of making this tremendous decision is usually predicated by months or even years of therapy, soul searching, self doubt and anxiety. Typically, this agonizing process of deciding whether to split up takes place in private. Perhaps a few close friends, family members or a therapist know that the couple is struggling. But, for the most part, the couple usually presents to the outside world as if it’s all good (or good enough) on the marriage front.
One of the biggest concerns that I hear about as a therapist relates to how one’s community will respond if a couple decides to divorce. A forty year old mother of two worries:
Our neighborhood friends are central to our lives. I worry constantly about what our community will think. How will they respond? Will our children be ostracized? As a woman who wants to leave, I fear I am defying a stereotype and will be forever rejected by our friends. This fear alone has kept me in a miserable marriage for longer than I want to admit.
Her concerns are surprisingly common, and well-founded. Friendships do change following a divorce, and both adults and children are impacted by these changes.
And yet, when unhappily married couples finally separate, something interesting and unexpected tends to happen. I call it divorce’s “out of the woodwork” phenomenon in which closeted unhappily married friends who have been pretending to be happily married come of the woodwork and want to talk.
A forty five year old father of four sums it up perfectly:
It’s crazy. I thought everyone I knew was happily married. So much so that I hated the idea of being the odd one out almost as much as I hated the idea of divorcing. The response of family and friends was one of my biggest fears. Yes, it’s been incredibly difficult. But never in a million years did I expect so many secretly unhappily married people to reach out to me to try to get information about what a separation is really like. I’m like the newly appointed ambassador of a secret society.
Divorce’s “out of the woodwork” phenomenon is relevant for a couple of reasons:
It demonstrates how taboo divorce remains in our society. (Maybe this is why the Divorce section of Huffington Post is so popular — it gives those who are divorced, divorcing, or considering a divorce a place to go. It provides an open forum on a taboo topic that was almost non-existent before its creation.)
If more couples debating the question of a separation knew how many others were likely to reach out to them to discuss their marriages, it might help people feel less isolated or alone. It might help others worry less about what others might think and free up more energy to focus more on the inner workings of their marriage and whether it is salvageable.
My advice? If you are struggling with the question of whether to separate, try to keep your concerns about what others might think to a minimum. Obviously, none of us can operate in total isolation from others, but what matters most is you, your spouse, your children, and what, if anything can possibly be done to save your marriage. If it is not salvageable, people you would never expect are going to come out of the woodwork, applaud your choice, and want to hear all about it. (Some of these people will get on your nerves, others will be comforting.) Some friends and family members will come through for you in ways above and beyond your expectations. Others in your community will not be able to handle the fact that you are divorcing, and they will pull away. This is likely more about them than it is about you. Perhaps your experience brings up memories for them of their own parents’ divorce. Or maybe it brings up feelings about the vulnerability of their own marriage. Or maybe they just need some time to adjust. Even if it hurts, it is quite possible that they will come around. If not, it is ultimately worth knowing who your true friends really are.
Elisabeth Joy LaMotte’s book, Overcoming Your Parents’ Divorce: 5 Steps to a Happy Relationship, was a finalist in the 2008 National Best Book Awards in the Relationship category.
Read entire article at http://www.huffingtonpost.com/elisabeth-joy-lamotte-licsw/out-of-the-woodwork_b_853994.html
If you are contemplating a divorce in Denver, or have already divorced in Denver, and need divorce legal advice, contact Gary Nicholas, who provides divorce, mediation, legal separation, child custody, child relocation, child support, alimony, property division, and common law marriage legal services in the Denver, CO metro area.
Nicholas Family Law
303-322-0308 (tel)
303-740-8408 (fax)
Email Nicholas Family Law (email)
www.nicholasfamilylaw.com (web)
Working With Attorneys in Mediation
Huffington Post, Divorce News
Posted: 04/ 5/11 09:52 AM ET
If you have figured out that mediating is the least expensive, often least acrimonious way to get through a divorce, we offer you our primer for using attorneys to help support you as you negotiate the terms of your future.
But eyes wide open, mediating means you are taking on a lot of responsibility in representing yourself through the negotiations. You have the burden of working directly with your soon to be ex-spouse in unraveling the financial picture and figuring out who gets what. That means you have an understanding of what the assets are, how much they are worth, including how taxes may affect the value, which are liquid and which aren’t. Also, it means that you understand your budget and earning power and potential. Finally, you need to be able to see that same big picture for your soon-to-be-ex as well. This, needless to say, is not an easy task, even if you are working with seasoned professional mediators.
You need to consult with experts working on your behalf, including financial expert and perhaps therapists. The most important person you will hire is an attorney, a ‘mediation-friendly’ attorney. Herewith, some tips:
1. Make sure you hire a matrimonial attorney, not your cousin’s best friend — the attractive real estate lawyer.
2. Make sure you check the fees before you even go in for a consultation– there can be an enormous range of experience and rates and retainers.
3. Ask the attorney if he/she has ever consulted to someone going through mediation – it’s best to work with an attorney who is supportive of the process and consulting is very different than advising a party to litigation.
4. Make sure you feel heard by the attorney and check that your attorney will respect decisions you make in mediation, even if they deviate from what a legal result may look like – particularly if you are intentionally “settling” for less in some areas. You probably have good reason for your decisions and the attorney should be reality testing with you, ensuring you have thought things through very carefully, but ultimately these are your decisions to make.
5. Make sure your attorney, while compassionate, understanding and wise, is not overbearing and pushing his or her own best view of the right outcome. Again, the premise in mediation is that you each know your financial needs and how to parent your kids better than anyone else.
If you are contemplating a divorce in Denver, or have already divorced in Denver, and need legal assistance, contact Gary Nicholas, who provides divorce, mediation, legal separation, child custody, child relocation, child support, alimony, property division, and common law marriage legal services in the Denver, CO metro area.
Nicholas Family Law
303-322-0308 (tel)
303-740-8408 (fax)
Email Nicholas Family Law (email)
www.nicholasfamilylaw.com (web)
What is New in the area of Divorce for 2011?
It’s 2011 and one out of two marriages still ends in divorce. Thankfully, over the course of my 15 year career, there have been many positive changes made in the area of family law. These changes have helped make the divorce process less adversarial and less costly, both financially and emotionally. Here are 5 of the most recent innovations everyone should know about before they begin the divorce process this year.
OurFamilyWizard
This is a web-based tool which provides a bridge for the difficult moments that are sure to arise when children’s activities span two households. It allows parents to communicate in a manner that is thoughtful and reflective, rather than reactive. The website acts as a conduit for parents to plan for holidays, share insurance cards, keep track of shared expenses etc.
Parenting Time Expeditors (PTE)
These are individuals appointed by the court, or agreed upon by the parties, to help make decisions on behalf of the children when parents are unable to agree. I like to think of them as referees who help parties save money on attorney’s fees and help in situations where parents are trying to make changes to their parenting schedule. For example, if mom wants to take a vacation and dad disagrees because it falls during dad’s parenting time, she can call the PTE and ask him/her to act as a mediator.
Post Nuptial Agreements
These have gained popularity in the last few years, mostly because of their use by famous celebrities. This is a written contract executed after a couple gets married. The provisions of the Post-nup can vary widely but usually include the division of property and the amount of spousal support.
Initial Case Management Conference
In some states, the husband and wife must appear before the judge within about four weeks of the divorce being filed. This appearance is known as the Initial Case Management Conference (ICMC). At the ICMC, the parties and their attorneys meet their assigned judge in a very informal setting, everyone speaks openly and attempts are made to come to as many agreements as possible.
Early Neutral Evaluations
Neutral experts have long been used in the area of family law however, the change for 2011 is the timing. Many years of research has shown that the earlier divorcing couples begin working with experts, the more likely it is they will be able to come to an agreement. A neutral expert listens carefully to the parties’ respective positions, studies the material, offers candid assessments each issue and helps the parties negotiate a resolution. Parties typically, end up paying a fraction of the costs associated with traditional divorce litigation and complete the process in less than three months.
Read the entire article at http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jonathan-fogel/what-is-new-in-the-area-o_b_825417.html#s242982&title=OurFamilyWizard_
If you are contemplating a divorce in Denver, or have already divorced in Denver, and need legal assistance, contact Gary Nicholas, who provides divorce, mediation, legal separation, child custody, child relocation, child support, alimony, property division, and common law marriage legal services in the Denver, CO metro area.
Nicholas Family Law
303-322-0308 (tel)
303-740-8408 (fax)
Email Nicholas Family Law (email)
www.nicholasfamilylaw.com (web)
Divorce attorneys catching cheaters on Facebook
June 01, 2010, By Stephanie Chen, CNN
Before the explosion of social media, Ken Altshuler, a divorce lawyer in Maine, dug up dirt on his client’s spouses the old-fashioned way: with private investigators and subpoenas. Now the first place his team checks for evidence is Facebook.
Consider a recent story of a female client in her 30s, who came to Altshuler seeking a divorce from husband. She claimed her husband, an alcoholic, was drinking again. The husband denied it. It was her word against his word, Altshuler says, until a mutual friend of the couple stumbled across Facebook photos of the husband drinking beer at a party a few weeks earlier.
It was the kind of “gotcha moment” Altshuler knew would undermine the husband’s credibility in court. His firm presented the photos to the judge, and the wife won the case in April, he said.
“Facebook is a great source of evidence,” Altshuler said. “It’s absolutely solid evidence because he’s the author of it. How do you deny that you put that on?”
Social media stalking skills have become invaluable to the legal world for divorce cases in particular. Online photo albums, profile pages, wall comments, status updates and tweets have become gold mines for evidence and leads. Today, divorce and family law firms routinely cull information posted on social media sites — the flirty exchanges with a paramour, unsavory self-revelations and compromising photographs — to buttress their case.
Posting hugging and kissing photos online can show a happily married relationship, or it can expose a secretive affair. At least 80 percent of attorneys surveyed by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers cited a growth in the number of cases that used social media over the last five years. The study was released earlier this year.
Divorce attorneys say social media sites have opened windows for infidelity because it’s become easier to rekindle romance with an old flame or flirt with a stranger. And the posted, shared, and tagged evidence of infidelity is precisely the type of evidence attorneys look for online.
“You need to familiarize yourself with privacy settings to ensure there is no way personal information can be accessed,” said Adam Ostrow, editor in chief of Mashable.com, a social media guide.
Gary Nicholas, Divorce Attorney Denver, provides divorce, mediation, legal separation, child custody, child relocation, child support, alimony, property division, and common law marriage legal services in the Denver, CO metro area.
Nicholas Family Law
303-322-0308 (tel)
303-740-8408 (fax)
Email Nicholas Family Law (email)
www.nicholasfamilylaw.com (web)
Nicholas Family Law, Divorce and Mediation Attorney Denver Colorado, has launched a new website at www.nicholasfamilylaw.com to better serve our clients in Denver, Arapahoe, Douglas, Jefferson, and Adams counties.
Gary Nicholas, Divorce Attorney Denver, provides divorce, mediation, legal separation, child custody, child relocation, child support, alimony, property division, and common law marriage legal services in the Denver, CO metro area.
Nicholas Family Law
303-322-0308 (tel)
303-740-8408 (fax)
Email Nicholas Family Law (email)
www.nicholasfamilylaw.com (web)
